Transitions

I've spent the morning reflecting on my experiences as a mother. It began by asking myself what my favorite thing about being a mother is. My answer? The bond that I have with Samantha. I feel such deep feelings in regards to her, my relationship with her, her relationship with Brent. I do things for her that I would never want to do if I were babysitting. As I thought about this at 6:00 this morning after I groggily gave her a bottle and put her back to bed, I became very alert! (So much for sleeping in.) I remember when she was brand new and it seemed like such a chore to feed her. I did it out of a sense of obligation--it's been four hours; I really shouldn't make her wait any longer--with a little bit of love mixed in. I was still very "me" focused in my own recovery and how my life had been altered, permanently. Slowly there has been a shift to a sense of enjoyment rather than obligation when it is time to feed her, change her clothes, or bath her. She has so much personality and her participation in these daily routines is downright comical. For instance, she has taken to drinking the bath water! She also makes the greatest faces when she tries a new food that she doesn't like. The current winner for the biggest grimace is feta cheese.

Becoming a mother happens in an instant. However, feeling like a mother takes time. I think the time varies, too, on the temperament of the baby. Some of my friends didn't really think motherhood was all that great until their children were 18 months or older. Most of their frustrations involved sleeping issues, eating issues and some developmental delays. All in all, I feel quite fortunate to have the pleasant, easy-going baby that I do and to have transitioned so smoothly.

As I've reflected on the success of this transition, I realize that I am in another transition period. This transition, however, is not only about my role as a mother, but includes my role as an employee, a teacher, a homemaker, and most importantly a wife. It seems that life recognizes when we've got one lesson pretty well learned and sees fit to shake things up a bit and see how we cope. This is not a pessimistic view, mind you. I understand that life is long and without occasional shakings, we would be very bored. I appreciate the opportunity to grow and expand my potential. So here I am, again, playing the balancing game. How do I plan my lessons and prepare materials without ignoring Samantha's need for my attention. And how, when I am playing with her, do I get my mind to focus on her and our time together without constantly monitoring the checklist of things to do for my classes, for the house, for the yard...

Each stage of my life has brought me a little more understanding of what my mother has gone through and what she sacrificed in order to do it well. There is so little I can give her that isn't trite and meaningless, but I hope to give her my life as a tribute to all she's taught me and all she's done for me. Happy Mother's Day. I love you, Mom. I would be remiss if I didn't also send my love to my "other" moms, Kimberlee and Wendy! I love all my Moms and appreciate the lessons I've learned from each one of you.