Most of the time on most days I really enjoy Sammi’s presence. I love playing with her, watching her play and listening to her endless conversations. But, sometimes, on some days I can’t wait for her bedtime. They are times when my parenting hat is falling off and I just want 5 minutes in the bathroom ALONE to straighten it out. Those are the times when I really see who I am and what kind of mom I am. Sometimes it’s scary because I don’t want to be that impatient, short-tempered woman and other times I smile inwardly when I can keep my cool and work through a stressful situation.Motherhood is definitely a growth process. I'm not perfect (gasp, I know!). I'm trying to make more progress in being the mom I want to be than sliding down the slippery slope of impatience.
It's not all self-control and difficulties, though. Sammi and I (and Elizabeth, too) have a lot of fun together. There are many moments in our house filled with laughter and play. I just worry that Sammi will remember my worst moments more than anything else. Is this a common state-of-mind for the mother of a toddler?
