Some Things Don't Change

I was looking through the blog recently for a specific picture, which I am now posting because it's hilarious. I laugh every time I see it. Sammi was about 16 months old.

But as I was browsing, I came across two posts that really struck me because, well, they are still true, to some extent, for me now. Year(s) later and on the other side of the country and I still feel the same way! Amazing. Here they are:

When Sammi turned 15 months old I posted that Sammi "has entered a new phase where her solution to everything is to cry. This is quite a bit more trying on my patience" I am here to testify that she has not yet left this stage and I think turning three has only intensified the crying. And it is still the MOST trying aspect of parenting for me. I often scream inside, "I can't handle the crying!" Actually sometimes I say that out loud. It's not very mature and I'm working on it. Still. 22 months later.

When I officially announced I was pregnant with Elli I mentioned that Brent had vetoed my suggestion of Daffodil as a girl's name. Elli may forever be grateful for that, but I still really like the name. I can't understand why, exactly. But it strikes me as so cute and I love the nickname Dilly. Brent did promise if we ever have a pet of some kind I may name the pet Daffodil and we will call her Dilly. I'm just not sure I'm satisfied with that, though!

Ramblings

Most of the time on most days I really enjoy Sammi’s presence. I love playing with her, watching her play and listening to her endless conversations. But, sometimes, on some days I can’t wait for her bedtime. They are times when my parenting hat is falling off and I just want 5 minutes in the bathroom ALONE to straighten it out. Those are the times when I really see who I am and what kind of mom I am. Sometimes it’s scary because I don’t want to be that impatient, short-tempered woman and other times I smile inwardly when I can keep my cool and work through a stressful situation.

Motherhood is definitely a growth process. I'm not perfect (gasp, I know!). I'm trying to make more progress in being the mom I want to be than sliding down the slippery slope of impatience.

It's not all self-control and difficulties, though. Sammi and I (and Elizabeth, too) have a lot of fun together. There are many moments in our house filled with laughter and play. I just worry that Sammi will remember my worst moments more than anything else. Is this a common state-of-mind for the mother of a toddler?