Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Ramblings

Most of the time on most days I really enjoy Sammi’s presence. I love playing with her, watching her play and listening to her endless conversations. But, sometimes, on some days I can’t wait for her bedtime. They are times when my parenting hat is falling off and I just want 5 minutes in the bathroom ALONE to straighten it out. Those are the times when I really see who I am and what kind of mom I am. Sometimes it’s scary because I don’t want to be that impatient, short-tempered woman and other times I smile inwardly when I can keep my cool and work through a stressful situation.

Motherhood is definitely a growth process. I'm not perfect (gasp, I know!). I'm trying to make more progress in being the mom I want to be than sliding down the slippery slope of impatience.

It's not all self-control and difficulties, though. Sammi and I (and Elizabeth, too) have a lot of fun together. There are many moments in our house filled with laughter and play. I just worry that Sammi will remember my worst moments more than anything else. Is this a common state-of-mind for the mother of a toddler?

8 comments:

Jenifuz said...

Oh, I have SOO been there!!

lee said...

We still think you are a great mother! I think everyone needs a little alone time in the bathroom, but I dont know if everyone wants that alone time to straighten it up...either way, give those girls a big squeeze for us.

Steve and Hailey said...

I completely relate to these sentiments. I try to hold judgment on the mother who loses it at the grocery store. I think being pregnant and having a two-year-old is just about as much as I can handle (more sometimes). I guess you're laughing because the second child hasn't even come yet! :)

Steve and Hailey said...

Hey Amber! Maybe you'll see this in time. Come on over this morning (Monday) at 10am. I tried to call, but I think the number is your husband's cell. (Hailey)

Holli said...

I always feel like I'll remember my worst moments...and most of the time they do :( But that's probably just my kids!! Now we just laugh at the times "mom got so mad.."

Susan said...

Hello Darling!! Love your blog and the new ERS blog. You are awesome!

Rebecka said...

I love your reflections. I think if you are aware of this struggle, as you are, you are on the up side of things. I asked Sammie what she remembers more, The fun times we have together or the times when everyine is hating each other. She thought about it and said, "Fun times." This is totaly a relief because there is a "hating each other" moment almost every day at our house. And those are the good days.
Love your blogs and having your sweetness for a friend :)

martha said...

Sometimes, I get so angry with Lydia and I send her to timeout (even though it is probably me that needs it). During those few moments, I have those same worries. Is she going to hate me for putting her in time out? Will she remember me losing my temper? etc. Then, she comes out of timeout and is sad for about 30 seconds and voila, things are fine and she is telling me again that I am the best mom in the world, even if other kids think their mom is the best, really I am. Don't worry so much. Sammi loves you and always will.